I wanted community but ended up in a fish bowl — everyone watching but hearing nothing but silence.
I have felt this! And so understand. The amount of times people don’t ask how I’m doing because they assume they know due to an Instagram story is wild.
I actually found you through a Substack hashtag on Instagram so I’m glad I did before you left.
I’m currently in my Instagram exit strategy.
Taking 6-12 months to guide people here to Substack then saying goodbye.
I have so appreciated so much of what social media has allowed for our family. AND I can’t see it as a part of our future
I’m so glad we found each other! I love your work. Instagram is totally wild and what it can do to relationships is... weird. Nothing beats true connection and being intentional in relationships. Cheering you on with your exit strategy!! 🤍
I would leave facebook as well, but I use it for my books and author page and some connections with friends in Ukraine. I think the more we limit that stuff the better.
Thank you for this post - I just made one month without IG and your reasons couldn’t have resonated more! 🧡 It’s scary but it’s also exciting, and as you said, a bit rebellious!
You make a lot of excellent points! I will miss seeing you on Instagram, but I don’t know you in person.
I try to make a point of having genuine interaction with people I love on social media, and this is a good reminder to be intentional with it! At the moment I’m incredibly thankful for Instagram in particular because I started talking with my boyfriend there and we had a genuine connection. So it can be used well, but it definitely takes effort!
I agree it can be used well! Totally depends on the human 🤍 I think self awareness while using it is key and using it (or not using it!) in a way that serves you. I’m happy that you’re grateful for it and you’ve found such a meaningful relationship via it. Praise! 🥰 That’s definitely worth celebrating! Thank you for the kind words and thank you for joining me in this space!! 🥹🤍
I just stumbled across this after deciding a few weeks ago that I would at least take August off of IG if not St Michaels Lent as well. I am pondering leaving forever, but I struggle with committing because we have moved around a lot and IG has allowed me to stay connected (or even reconnect) with old friends in a way that is sweet and easy especially in the season of motherhood when my children do not allow long and deep conversations on the phone so frequently! And yet I am very bothered by the lack of true connection on the app. Even people I have followed mutually - I will comment on their posts and reply to their stories but they don’t reciprocate. This leaves me in confusion - do you want relationship or do you just want to be observed? Why are you observing me if you don’t want to interact? It also definitely inspires envy and an unhealthy curiosity in me. I already feel like I can think clearer after three days without it. Anyway, thanks for sharing! I think I actually used to follow you on YouTube many years ago and I did not realize you are a fellow catholic!
Jak, we don’t know each other personally, but this resonates so deeply with me. I grew up in Franklin, I am a young, new mom, and I am also Catholic! I left instagram a few months before you, but find myself tempted to check it often. It was during one of these falls to temptation that I saw your post about leaving and coming here. I’m glad (?) I checked instagram that day to find out about Substack. I’d never used the app before, but I already find it so much more valuable. Your post has encouraged me to leave behind Instagram and has renewed my resolve!
we don't know each other in "real life" but man, i'm sooooo so grateful for your words here. you articulated so well what i've been navigating through the last several months regarding social media, writing, and how to hold it all especially after the birth of our sweet little girl. your words actually nudged me to take some steps away that i've been toying around with for so long, and it's been the most life-giving thing. i ditched my smart phone for a light phone back in July and just said goodbye to Instagram too. praying it leads to more space, creation, and overall presence with the ones i love. all that to say, thank you for sharing the way you do! :)
Wow!!! Thank you so much for sharing and for the kind words! Cheers to leaving Instagram! 🤍 How are you liking your light phone? Would love to hear about it! You’re a wonderful writer and I look forward to reading your future letters! 🫶🏻
i LOVE the light phone. it's a little clunky to use and can be hard to text on (and the gps is pretty bad, haha), but the clunkiness makes me want to be on it less, which is great. it's crazy though how i still open it up to look for an app to click on or something to distract myself with—it's such an ingrained habit! but little by little i feel like these changes are helping me to be more present, more comfortable with silence, and (little by very little) more of the person i want to be, you know?
yes! you can find it at thelightphone.com. i've been on it for several months now and still love being a bit more disconnected—and they have a new model coming out next year which i pre-ordered!
I loved this post so much Jak. "..silently nosy rather than thoughtful" that's what I felt too and everything else you have shared.
Also I also just this week made the full transition away from Instagram and all other major platforms and even just the mere decision made me feel so much lighter.
I look forward to less noise and more present time with my family, community and also myself. Just subscribed as well and look forward to following your journey.
I've been following you on instagram for a few years now and I am sad to see you go, but excited to follow your writing here! Prayers for you in this new chapter <3
Thank you so much for these words -- So kind! Thank you for your support and encouragement. Really means so much and I appreciate you!!! Thankful you’re here. 🤍
Oh yes! I have written about this topic a lot. I left IG, keep FB on my laptop only (for groups). I have X on my phone, but it feels way different than IG and FB somehow. Those two, the OGs, seemed to become a cesspool for creation of mental health issues that weren't there to begin with. Their neverending scroll seems more addicting than the others. And the mom space there seemed to breed so much fear. I too an much happier in this long form content land, with nuance, and full thoughts, and witty back and forth. Cheers!
I wanted community but ended up in a fish bowl — everyone watching but hearing nothing but silence.
I have felt this! And so understand. The amount of times people don’t ask how I’m doing because they assume they know due to an Instagram story is wild.
I actually found you through a Substack hashtag on Instagram so I’m glad I did before you left.
I’m currently in my Instagram exit strategy.
Taking 6-12 months to guide people here to Substack then saying goodbye.
I have so appreciated so much of what social media has allowed for our family. AND I can’t see it as a part of our future
I’m so glad we found each other! I love your work. Instagram is totally wild and what it can do to relationships is... weird. Nothing beats true connection and being intentional in relationships. Cheering you on with your exit strategy!! 🤍
I left insta about 5 years ago and it was such a great decision. Left twitter this year.
Wow!! You're were way ahead of me. Really is such a great decision. Seriously wish I had done it sooner!
I would leave facebook as well, but I use it for my books and author page and some connections with friends in Ukraine. I think the more we limit that stuff the better.
Instagram breeds unhealthy curiosity. I used to love the app, but have grown to dislike it. I'm a better mom & wife without it!
Totally agree! Unhealthy curiosity is a great way of describing it!!
Thank you for this post - I just made one month without IG and your reasons couldn’t have resonated more! 🧡 It’s scary but it’s also exciting, and as you said, a bit rebellious!
Congratulations!! I’m happy for you. A month is a big deal!! 🤍 it really is exciting.
You make a lot of excellent points! I will miss seeing you on Instagram, but I don’t know you in person.
I try to make a point of having genuine interaction with people I love on social media, and this is a good reminder to be intentional with it! At the moment I’m incredibly thankful for Instagram in particular because I started talking with my boyfriend there and we had a genuine connection. So it can be used well, but it definitely takes effort!
I agree it can be used well! Totally depends on the human 🤍 I think self awareness while using it is key and using it (or not using it!) in a way that serves you. I’m happy that you’re grateful for it and you’ve found such a meaningful relationship via it. Praise! 🥰 That’s definitely worth celebrating! Thank you for the kind words and thank you for joining me in this space!! 🥹🤍
Such an incredible post ❤️ I totally feel you deeply about everything you mentioned, thank you for sharing and following your truth.
Thanks so much for reading and for your kind words 🤍🤍🤍
Thanks for sharing. I also left Instagram for Substack just last week (!) and resonated with so much of what you said here. Here's to the quiet life!
I also shared some of my thoughts on the transition, if you're interested:
https://open.substack.com/pub/brkscmrn/p/why-im-leaving-social-media?r=1lti55&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
Oh haha me too! This week! Already felt so much lighter after making the final decision to say goodbye, it's been a long time coming!
I just stumbled across this after deciding a few weeks ago that I would at least take August off of IG if not St Michaels Lent as well. I am pondering leaving forever, but I struggle with committing because we have moved around a lot and IG has allowed me to stay connected (or even reconnect) with old friends in a way that is sweet and easy especially in the season of motherhood when my children do not allow long and deep conversations on the phone so frequently! And yet I am very bothered by the lack of true connection on the app. Even people I have followed mutually - I will comment on their posts and reply to their stories but they don’t reciprocate. This leaves me in confusion - do you want relationship or do you just want to be observed? Why are you observing me if you don’t want to interact? It also definitely inspires envy and an unhealthy curiosity in me. I already feel like I can think clearer after three days without it. Anyway, thanks for sharing! I think I actually used to follow you on YouTube many years ago and I did not realize you are a fellow catholic!
so good…. It further encouraged me on no using Instagram
This such a beautiful take on what I’ve been feeling for so long. Thank you for putting it into words 🤍
Thank you so much. So happy it resonated with you. 🤍
Jak, we don’t know each other personally, but this resonates so deeply with me. I grew up in Franklin, I am a young, new mom, and I am also Catholic! I left instagram a few months before you, but find myself tempted to check it often. It was during one of these falls to temptation that I saw your post about leaving and coming here. I’m glad (?) I checked instagram that day to find out about Substack. I’d never used the app before, but I already find it so much more valuable. Your post has encouraged me to leave behind Instagram and has renewed my resolve!
Just reading this and thank you so much for sharing! This is way cool. 🤍 How are you feeling now with leaving Instagram? (We have so much in common!)
we don't know each other in "real life" but man, i'm sooooo so grateful for your words here. you articulated so well what i've been navigating through the last several months regarding social media, writing, and how to hold it all especially after the birth of our sweet little girl. your words actually nudged me to take some steps away that i've been toying around with for so long, and it's been the most life-giving thing. i ditched my smart phone for a light phone back in July and just said goodbye to Instagram too. praying it leads to more space, creation, and overall presence with the ones i love. all that to say, thank you for sharing the way you do! :)
Wow!!! Thank you so much for sharing and for the kind words! Cheers to leaving Instagram! 🤍 How are you liking your light phone? Would love to hear about it! You’re a wonderful writer and I look forward to reading your future letters! 🫶🏻
i LOVE the light phone. it's a little clunky to use and can be hard to text on (and the gps is pretty bad, haha), but the clunkiness makes me want to be on it less, which is great. it's crazy though how i still open it up to look for an app to click on or something to distract myself with—it's such an ingrained habit! but little by little i feel like these changes are helping me to be more present, more comfortable with silence, and (little by very little) more of the person i want to be, you know?
I need one of these! Is light phone the brand name?
yes! you can find it at thelightphone.com. i've been on it for several months now and still love being a bit more disconnected—and they have a new model coming out next year which i pre-ordered!
I loved this post so much Jak. "..silently nosy rather than thoughtful" that's what I felt too and everything else you have shared.
Also I also just this week made the full transition away from Instagram and all other major platforms and even just the mere decision made me feel so much lighter.
I look forward to less noise and more present time with my family, community and also myself. Just subscribed as well and look forward to following your journey.
Much love to you x
Cheers to leaving the noise behind! Love that you recently left too. It feels so good! Thank you so much for the support and kindness. 🤍
I've been following you on instagram for a few years now and I am sad to see you go, but excited to follow your writing here! Prayers for you in this new chapter <3
Thank you so much 🥹 I’m so grateful you are here! Your kindness means so much to me. 🤍 Thank you for the prayers!
I have learned so much from your writing. About the world. About myself. Wow you have a gift. Thank you ✨
Thank you so much for these words -- So kind! Thank you for your support and encouragement. Really means so much and I appreciate you!!! Thankful you’re here. 🤍
Oh yes! I have written about this topic a lot. I left IG, keep FB on my laptop only (for groups). I have X on my phone, but it feels way different than IG and FB somehow. Those two, the OGs, seemed to become a cesspool for creation of mental health issues that weren't there to begin with. Their neverending scroll seems more addicting than the others. And the mom space there seemed to breed so much fear. I too an much happier in this long form content land, with nuance, and full thoughts, and witty back and forth. Cheers!