I wanted community but ended up in a fish bowl — everyone watching but hearing nothing but silence.
I have felt this! And so understand. The amount of times people don’t ask how I’m doing because they assume they know due to an Instagram story is wild.
I actually found you through a Substack hashtag on Instagram so I’m glad I did before you left.
I’m currently in my Instagram exit strategy.
Taking 6-12 months to guide people here to Substack then saying goodbye.
I have so appreciated so much of what social media has allowed for our family. AND I can’t see it as a part of our future
I’m so glad we found each other! I love your work. Instagram is totally wild and what it can do to relationships is... weird. Nothing beats true connection and being intentional in relationships. Cheering you on with your exit strategy!! 🤍
I would leave facebook as well, but I use it for my books and author page and some connections with friends in Ukraine. I think the more we limit that stuff the better.
Thank you for this post - I just made one month without IG and your reasons couldn’t have resonated more! 🧡 It’s scary but it’s also exciting, and as you said, a bit rebellious!
You make a lot of excellent points! I will miss seeing you on Instagram, but I don’t know you in person.
I try to make a point of having genuine interaction with people I love on social media, and this is a good reminder to be intentional with it! At the moment I’m incredibly thankful for Instagram in particular because I started talking with my boyfriend there and we had a genuine connection. So it can be used well, but it definitely takes effort!
I agree it can be used well! Totally depends on the human 🤍 I think self awareness while using it is key and using it (or not using it!) in a way that serves you. I’m happy that you’re grateful for it and you’ve found such a meaningful relationship via it. Praise! 🥰 That’s definitely worth celebrating! Thank you for the kind words and thank you for joining me in this space!! 🥹🤍
we don't know each other in "real life" but man, i'm sooooo so grateful for your words here. you articulated so well what i've been navigating through the last several months regarding social media, writing, and how to hold it all especially after the birth of our sweet little girl. your words actually nudged me to take some steps away that i've been toying around with for so long, and it's been the most life-giving thing. i ditched my smart phone for a light phone back in July and just said goodbye to Instagram too. praying it leads to more space, creation, and overall presence with the ones i love. all that to say, thank you for sharing the way you do! :)
Wow!!! Thank you so much for sharing and for the kind words! Cheers to leaving Instagram! 🤍 How are you liking your light phone? Would love to hear about it! You’re a wonderful writer and I look forward to reading your future letters! 🫶🏻
i LOVE the light phone. it's a little clunky to use and can be hard to text on (and the gps is pretty bad, haha), but the clunkiness makes me want to be on it less, which is great. it's crazy though how i still open it up to look for an app to click on or something to distract myself with—it's such an ingrained habit! but little by little i feel like these changes are helping me to be more present, more comfortable with silence, and (little by very little) more of the person i want to be, you know?
yes! you can find it at thelightphone.com. i've been on it for several months now and still love being a bit more disconnected—and they have a new model coming out next year which i pre-ordered!
This was everything I've wanted to say but didn't have the words. Love this. I'm shutting down my Instagram in 2025 and as someone whose career once hinged on it, I know my life (and work) will 10 times better with an undistracted version of me! Cheers 😊.
Thank you so much! ❤️ I felt the power of your words, the authenticity of your experience. After thinking it through and battling to reduce the time I spend in the platform, this is exactly what I needed to make the final decision to quit Instagram! Greetings from Colombia 🙏🏻
Ahhh…the pendulum swings! Good for you for recognizing the difference and so eloquently noting a shift in priorities which more people need. You thoughts, words, and actions are eternal - your son is a very lucky boy!
This was so beautifully written (absolutely poetic!) and when you spoke about people being silently nosy rather than thoughtful that really struck a cord with me.
As I lay here in the quiet of the morning with my baby girl and husband sound asleep, I wanted to hop on insta to scroll through my endless feed of savory foods and influencers trying them that I take guilty pleasure in. But I’m so grateful I recently found this platform and came on here because it gives encouragement to my soul that there are others who feel the same pains and pulls I do - to not only be known and connect but to have my family be known and connect with genuine people and grow closer to the Lord. Thank you so much for opening yourself to share this, God bless you and your family❤️
“Knowing each other instead of just seeing each other.” What a perfect way to put it.
I’ve noticed that when I unplug people are a lot more likely to reach out to me. To call and check in instead of, like you mentioned, assuming they know how I’m doing.
Wow! I didn’t realize until now that this was written last year. A timely read as I am 3 days in on my break from IG, FB, and TT!
I’ve found myself, since logging out and deleting them picking up my phone and going to my socials folder and then remembering, “oh…yeah😌”. I’m sure that habit will break eventually.
I wanted community but ended up in a fish bowl — everyone watching but hearing nothing but silence.
I have felt this! And so understand. The amount of times people don’t ask how I’m doing because they assume they know due to an Instagram story is wild.
I actually found you through a Substack hashtag on Instagram so I’m glad I did before you left.
I’m currently in my Instagram exit strategy.
Taking 6-12 months to guide people here to Substack then saying goodbye.
I have so appreciated so much of what social media has allowed for our family. AND I can’t see it as a part of our future
I’m so glad we found each other! I love your work. Instagram is totally wild and what it can do to relationships is... weird. Nothing beats true connection and being intentional in relationships. Cheering you on with your exit strategy!! 🤍
Instagram breeds unhealthy curiosity. I used to love the app, but have grown to dislike it. I'm a better mom & wife without it!
Totally agree! Unhealthy curiosity is a great way of describing it!!
I left insta about 5 years ago and it was such a great decision. Left twitter this year.
Wow!! You're were way ahead of me. Really is such a great decision. Seriously wish I had done it sooner!
I would leave facebook as well, but I use it for my books and author page and some connections with friends in Ukraine. I think the more we limit that stuff the better.
Thank you for this post - I just made one month without IG and your reasons couldn’t have resonated more! 🧡 It’s scary but it’s also exciting, and as you said, a bit rebellious!
Congratulations!! I’m happy for you. A month is a big deal!! 🤍 it really is exciting.
You make a lot of excellent points! I will miss seeing you on Instagram, but I don’t know you in person.
I try to make a point of having genuine interaction with people I love on social media, and this is a good reminder to be intentional with it! At the moment I’m incredibly thankful for Instagram in particular because I started talking with my boyfriend there and we had a genuine connection. So it can be used well, but it definitely takes effort!
I agree it can be used well! Totally depends on the human 🤍 I think self awareness while using it is key and using it (or not using it!) in a way that serves you. I’m happy that you’re grateful for it and you’ve found such a meaningful relationship via it. Praise! 🥰 That’s definitely worth celebrating! Thank you for the kind words and thank you for joining me in this space!! 🥹🤍
we don't know each other in "real life" but man, i'm sooooo so grateful for your words here. you articulated so well what i've been navigating through the last several months regarding social media, writing, and how to hold it all especially after the birth of our sweet little girl. your words actually nudged me to take some steps away that i've been toying around with for so long, and it's been the most life-giving thing. i ditched my smart phone for a light phone back in July and just said goodbye to Instagram too. praying it leads to more space, creation, and overall presence with the ones i love. all that to say, thank you for sharing the way you do! :)
Wow!!! Thank you so much for sharing and for the kind words! Cheers to leaving Instagram! 🤍 How are you liking your light phone? Would love to hear about it! You’re a wonderful writer and I look forward to reading your future letters! 🫶🏻
i LOVE the light phone. it's a little clunky to use and can be hard to text on (and the gps is pretty bad, haha), but the clunkiness makes me want to be on it less, which is great. it's crazy though how i still open it up to look for an app to click on or something to distract myself with—it's such an ingrained habit! but little by little i feel like these changes are helping me to be more present, more comfortable with silence, and (little by very little) more of the person i want to be, you know?
I need one of these! Is light phone the brand name?
yes! you can find it at thelightphone.com. i've been on it for several months now and still love being a bit more disconnected—and they have a new model coming out next year which i pre-ordered!
Such an incredible post ❤️ I totally feel you deeply about everything you mentioned, thank you for sharing and following your truth.
Thanks so much for reading and for your kind words 🤍🤍🤍
Thanks for sharing. I also left Instagram for Substack just last week (!) and resonated with so much of what you said here. Here's to the quiet life!
I also shared some of my thoughts on the transition, if you're interested:
https://open.substack.com/pub/brkscmrn/p/why-im-leaving-social-media?r=1lti55&utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=web
Oh haha me too! This week! Already felt so much lighter after making the final decision to say goodbye, it's been a long time coming!
Love this. Miss those days.
This was everything I've wanted to say but didn't have the words. Love this. I'm shutting down my Instagram in 2025 and as someone whose career once hinged on it, I know my life (and work) will 10 times better with an undistracted version of me! Cheers 😊.
Thank you so much! ❤️ I felt the power of your words, the authenticity of your experience. After thinking it through and battling to reduce the time I spend in the platform, this is exactly what I needed to make the final decision to quit Instagram! Greetings from Colombia 🙏🏻
"I wanted community but ended up in a fish bowl — everyone watching but hearing nothing but silence." This really sums up the Instagram experience.
Ahhh…the pendulum swings! Good for you for recognizing the difference and so eloquently noting a shift in priorities which more people need. You thoughts, words, and actions are eternal - your son is a very lucky boy!
This was so beautifully written (absolutely poetic!) and when you spoke about people being silently nosy rather than thoughtful that really struck a cord with me.
As I lay here in the quiet of the morning with my baby girl and husband sound asleep, I wanted to hop on insta to scroll through my endless feed of savory foods and influencers trying them that I take guilty pleasure in. But I’m so grateful I recently found this platform and came on here because it gives encouragement to my soul that there are others who feel the same pains and pulls I do - to not only be known and connect but to have my family be known and connect with genuine people and grow closer to the Lord. Thank you so much for opening yourself to share this, God bless you and your family❤️
“Knowing each other instead of just seeing each other.” What a perfect way to put it.
I’ve noticed that when I unplug people are a lot more likely to reach out to me. To call and check in instead of, like you mentioned, assuming they know how I’m doing.
Wow! I didn’t realize until now that this was written last year. A timely read as I am 3 days in on my break from IG, FB, and TT!
I’ve found myself, since logging out and deleting them picking up my phone and going to my socials folder and then remembering, “oh…yeah😌”. I’m sure that habit will break eventually.